Couples Counseling » The Well Clinic

A Compassionate Approach to Couples Counseling

At The Well Clinic, it is understood that every relationship has its ups and downs – whether on the first date, or after twenty years of marriage.  And every relationship has unique patterns and dynamics that can cause pain and struggle. We recognize that every relationship is unique with its own set of challenges and strengths. The good news is that these same patterns can change if both partners are willing.  The highly experienced couples therapists at The Well Clinic can help you identify the specific patterns and cycles that are vexing your relationship and set you on a path to learning healthy communication, building a base of trust, and deepening your intimate connection.

The Couples Therapists at The Well Clinic

The therapists at the Well Clinic are highly trained masters and doctorate level providers with special training and interest in working with couples.   The therapists have an open and compassionate approach so that all couples can feel safe to bring in their private issues.  Every couples therapist at The Well Clinic has a slightly different set of skills, so read more about them and watch their videos to select the therapist that is the best fit for your relationship.

How Couples Counseling Works

In the first couple of sessions, your therapist will assess your relationship and work with you to establish meaningful goals.  Based on what is learned in those first couple of sessions, your therapist will create a treatment plan for getting things to a healthier place.  Your therapist will work with you on creating that plan so you can be clear on what you would like to achieve, how to get there, and how many sessions it may take to achieve your goals.

Managing Conflict in Your Relationship

There is no such thing as a conflict-free relationship.  Healthy couples have some degree of conflict in their relationship but they do it in a way that keeps the partnership moving on the right track.  As any marriage counselor will tell you, couples who don’t argue at all, are often suppressing feelings at the expense of real intimacy.  So the task for married couples and long term partners becomes not to eliminate conflict, but rather, to manage conflict.  Couples who can moderate their arguments may find that healthy levels of conflict can lead to a more lively and intimate relationship. Read our blog post  ”Ten steps to manage conflict in your relationship.”

The Sex And Anger Connection

 Most couples enter therapy with the assumption that they need to eliminate conflict from their relationship.  The belief is that fighting of any kind is somehow a bellwether of incompatibility.  And commonly, the couples who avoid conflict tell me, “we don’t fight at all, so I don’t understand why this isn’t working.”  Again, there is a common mis-perception that presence of conflict is somehow the indicator of a relationship heading south.  This idea could not be further from the truth. Click here to read more…

Reasons Couples Say They Are Not Having Sex

The truth is, few couples come into therapy for the first meeting and tell me they are not having sex.  Yes, it happens, but generally they start out with something else.  ”We’ve drifted apart”, “We’re fighting too much” – or someone had an affair.  And when sex does come up (usually because we ask about it), people do not get to the root cause right away – they tell me what’s happening on the surface, because that’s what they see every day. Here are some of the recent explanations we’ve heard from our clients:

• We’re too busy with the kids/work and don’t have time
• We’ve lost the spark; I’m not attracted to her/him any more
• When we do have sex it goes well, but it’s awkward for either of us to initiate
• I’m waiting for him/her to initiate (because I’ve been rejected too many times) and he/she never does
• He’s obsessed with internet porn and has nothing left for me
• I’m just not that sexual a person, I’m not interested in sex
• It just feels like we are friends, our relationship doesn’t feel sexual

When couples stop having sex, in any of the scenarios above, there is always more to the story. The therapists at The Well Clinic have the job, in part, of helping clients see below the surface, of understanding what’s causing these disturbances in the everyday reality of their relationship. Read our blog post about the real reasons couples stop having sex.

How To Keep Intimacy Alive

When relationship is young, it is easy to be excited.  But a long-term marriage can be just as fantastic as newness gives way to deeper connection, trust and intimacy.  That said, it is too easy to get into a rhythm with a partner that may be efficient but lacks excitement.  It’s incredibly important to shake up this tendency. Couples who play together, stay together. Learn where couples go in San Francisco to reignite the passion in their relationships.

Call The Well Clinic When Your Relationship Needs The Guiding Hand Of A Professional

When your relationship is in crisis, or if it’s become passionless and dead, you need to learn skills to bring the excitement and energy back. Fill out the form at the bottom of the page or give us a call at 415-952-0290 to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced couples counselors.